Storytelling Style Nixed

That's right. My life is just too effing FANTASTIC and FUN-FILLED for me to keep up with my daily activities on this blog. Thanks again London for providing me with no chance to keep up with promises.

I've also sort of stopped taking constant pictures. Now you'll have to visualize: deal.

Just a few things I've noticed that London is a fan of:

1) The colo(u)r gray...
I honestly don't understand why London feels like it has to shove it in my face that I'll never see the sun again. Even the people start to look a little grayish after awhile. Though...that could be the pallor of alcoholism.

2) Wearing scarfs inside...
I get that its cold and all, but seriously Londoners have this horrible habit of wearing their scarves inside. Not only does this make everyone seem much more douche-bag-esque, it also renders American Gaydar utterly useless.

3) Dodgy side streets and alleyways...

4) Watching your every move...
Some bothersome slang:
1) To pull: When you is in da club and you see dat fyne young thing and yous wants to kiss 'im and you do, you pulled 'im. If you go all the way with a lady you "pull gash." Gross. I know.
2) Offie: Off-license; a place where you can buy booze 24/7 essentially. Usually seem like sketchy bodegas.
3) x: Not really slang, but pretty ubiquitous. Everyone here likes to add an x to the end of every text message as a form of endearment. EVERY SINGLE TEXT TO A FRIEND MUST END IN X OR XX. Otherwise they won't know how much you love them.
4) "I was meant to" = "I was supposed to"
5) To take the piss: not actually micturition. To make fun of.
6) Pissed: drunk. Brits seem to be really obsessed with peeing. I see them do it everywhere. They have lovely outdoor urinals in Soho:
...and yet I still see people pissing on the streets everywhere. Its a national pastime.
There's tons more of annoying slang that I find creeping into my vocabulary against my will.

Lovely Souf London:
"Just like mama's"
That pretty much sums it up.

Oh hi Team Remedy. EDIT: I PROMISE YOU ALL A FULL ENTRY WITHIN A WEEK!!!

P.S. King's College Hall in Camberwell is actually much better than any other "central" location.

Who are you trying to impress, South London?

I know that people say that people get stabbed here all the time. You may try and scare me, South London, but it isn't working.

After leaving Katie's place I took a wrong turn, which led me here:

How fun. I saw this being constructed in that Sherlock Holmes film. London, you need to do a better job at surprising me.

I ran back down to SE5 to freshen up before our Departmental Meetings. Had some genuine English breakfast at a Chinese restaurant too.

Bitching session:
In some ways England is hell for a germaphobe.
Example 1 - toilets (no picture because I'm not that nasty)
In order to flush it seems like you always have to really really push the knob as hard as possible. I usually prefer to flush with my shoe if at all possible, but I simply don't have the reserves to do that with these. Yes, I know I can wash my hands and I do, but I still have to touch that damned flusher.
There's only one example.

That night we (Havertwats + Johannah and her boyfriends friendlies) went down to the dreaded Brixton to see a show. Learned on the way that its completely legal to drink in public here. At the pub we ran into some crazy people.
The best was the lady with the puppy. CUTEST PUPPY IN A PUB EVER. As to be expected, though, the puppy left me. Puppies are all such tramps.
I then made probably the worst decision of my life. I'd like to call it "a stroll down Coldharbor lane at 3 AM." For those of you who don't know, Brixton was once home to a lovely activity known as "riots"
For the most part, I think things are a lot better there now, but my particular walk brought me through a particularly scary set of "council estates" aka public housing. I don't really know why I decided that the 70 pence or whatever for the bus would be unacceptable. So, I stuffed my face with McDonald's and started my 45 minute journey. Unfortunately I wasn't offered any drugs. I wasn't stabbed. Shame really.
Maybe I'll have a chance to run into the infamous "Brixton Boyz" sometime in the future, but that night the turf seemed to be fine with my presence.

Next was Westminster Abby, which means...TOURIST PHOTO MONTAGE!
Too bad it was closed.
Yes, Michele actually has no face. You've really outdown Snookie this time.
The damned weather also precluded our visit to Buckingham...or perhaps it was the allur of a local pub. Nevertheless, I trecked up to Camden Town to freshen up, bitch about people, and grab a bite to eat. When I heard that we were planning on going up to Camden Town I was a little bit excited, to be honest. I heard that they had my third favorite genre of people there en masse: dirty, nasty, rotten punk kids (First would be gays, of course, second favorite would be the cast of Jersey Shore).

The tube was beyond crowded. I also learned my first lesson about CCTV. Being a tourist and all, I decided to take an innocent shot of the massive crowds. Oops. Apparently that's a no-no, as I was informed by Big Brother loudspeaker man.

I'm still far behind, but, fuck it, I need to sleep. Good night.

Ever Heard of Central Heating? Lovely.

I need to whine a bit before I start with story time. Every freaking hall and bathroom in this entire nation is FUCKING COLD. I know that the environment matters and shit, but hell! I don't need to get all nipple-y every time I go to the bathroom. Do you see this snow, Britain? You sure talk about it a lot. Get some decency and warm up the toilet seats.

On another note:
There was NO mood lighting on Virgin. Oh well. Us Haverford kids took a picture before we boarded.Yes, Michele, I see your headphones. Gorgeous. No really, you are and I'm sorry for putting this up.

Some people slept on the plane...

...I wasn't so lucky. That's fine 'cause I don't like sleep anyway. I get to be more grumpy without it.

I'd like to thank our driver here for not dumping me off where he intended.

Side note: MY EFFING MAID(man) JUST CLEANED MY ROOM. Haters go ahead and hate.

The first day was a blur of queues and queues and more queues. Ran into a Peter Sturtevant lookalike and took the lovely bus (been doin' a lot of that) to King's. Got a phone as well and felt a whole lot more connected to the world. I think Carphone Warehouse swindled us, but 300 free texts seems decent. Went to my first pub (Ye Olde Cock something...of course I went there first...) with the Havertwats and some new lovelies. Spent 3 something for a beer. Fuck. Stupid Strand being all expensive. Make that London. After that pound removing experience, we checked out a hole in the wall Indian joint. Good to know that London does have its more jenkity side.

Yesterday we (Katie, James, Johanna--HEY!) did some classic tourist stuff. Montage o' tourism:

Covent Garden is for idiots.

Trafalgar fails to impress. Why is that girl skipping behind me? It's gray out. Get the mood right.

Thanks for the update, Katie.

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

Mark Twain

Therefore, I am the first person to ever climb this monument.

Katie's making eyes at me.

WTF pt. 1

WTF pt. 2: subtitled - prawn cocktail???

Everything is just slightly different here. The keyboards have the @ symbol in a completely novel location and the shift key is minuscule. Coins actually are worth something here. It's the little things that throw me off the most. Double-decker buses and crisps were expected, but I had no idea what taking my coffee "white" meant.

Last night I went out with the Haverford ladies who turned up the glamour for a bit. We even took a taxi! Fancy!

Wrong camera guys. Where do you think you're looking?

Katie owns this.

After the club "experience" and chatting with a guy who got stabbed in Finsbury we decided to call it a night. There was no way I was going to get back to Camberwell from Bloomsbury, so I used my apparent drunk compass skills (sorry Katie) to catch the night bus back to London Bridge. Night buses apparently go everywhere. Cool.

OK now I'll stop.

F U Maryland

Do I look fucking amused to you? F U Maryland. You've provided me no excitement. See you later, turd.


Who is this weird happy fellow? Thanks for the goodbyes Dad, thanks.

I drove up ALL THE WAY to Katie's house in New Jerz today, so that we could like drive up to the airport tomorrow or whatever. Very Christmasy...nice.

Tomorrow night is the big ole flight. I hear they have "mood lighting" on Virgin Atlantic. Thrilling.